


Numb

by bandgrad2008



Category: iCarly
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-13
Updated: 2012-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-03 14:50:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/382530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandgrad2008/pseuds/bandgrad2008
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carly's in pain. Dark stuff, only Carly. Short one-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Numb

Carly's POV

I stood in the iCarly studio, engulfed in the darkness, staring at the door. Paralyzed, mute, deaf to everything in the blackness. My hands were throbbing with numbness, bloodied and witness to destruction, hanging by my side. My chest burned, as though my heart and lungs had been ripped from my chest.

The light in the hall was turned on. A tall shape stood in the doorway, the sight of him doing nothing short of torturing me. Eyes burned into mine, pain behind them as they measured damage throughout the void. The light was flicked on, blinding me, seeping into my skin. The eyes were wide in shock, sadness filling them. The face engraved itself in my mind, hiding behind my eyes. His mouth was moving, but there was no sound, no meaning behind their movements. Suddenly he was moving toward me, reaching out for me, but I was cemented in place.

Everything went black.

Flickers of light, of shapes and figures above me. Noises exploded in my ears and rattled my brain. My entire body was numb, no pain, no feeling aside from the constant throbbing in my veins.

_They_ had betrayed me, had stabbed me in the back, had torn my heart out of my chest and stomped on it. And _they_ had left me.

I don't remember ever being so jealous in my life. My heart was gone, destroyed beyond repair. When _they_ had walked out, together, turning their backs on me, I had seen red. I don't think I could be responsible for what I've done, how I've become so numb and helpless.

I was alone.

_**Two years later…** _

I sat on the floor in the empty iCarly studio, numb and full of darkness. It had been so long since I had stepped foot in this room, two years since I stopped talking to _them_. Not much had happened since then, aside from my incessant pain, a scar above my left breast that left memory of that night. The night that _they_ had left for good.

I had died three times before the doctors were able to stabilize me. Honestly, I wished they hadn't. Things would be so much easier, if I hadn't been found in my immobilized state, here in the iCarly studio.

If only.

I remember now, what happened back then. _They_ had wanted to talk, to confess their secret, the one that nearly killed me. I had been so angry, and jealous, and _they_ had laughed. Everything was so easy for _them_ , when it was tearing me apart, artery by artery.

I had said things I now regretted.

I had said I never wanted to see _them_ again. And when _they_ turned away from me and walked out, I had lost control. I had become numb. I had destroyed the studio, had maimed every single memory of _them_.

I don't know how, one second my hand was empty, and the next I was grasping my father's knife. I was so angry, so betrayed, so heartbroken, that I had plunged it into my heart. Or so I thought. I was told later that I missed the tortured organ by mere centimeters, and that if I had moved the knife or pulled it out, I would have died.

Why couldn't I have done either one?

It feels so empty here now, so void of life, and it was because of me. _They_ had changed everything. And I had paid for it.

Because there was one reason I despised myself, after all of this time. Something I had never spoken aloud. If I had, maybe things would have been different.

I was in love with Sam.


End file.
